This is my first foray into blogging. I have decided to create this blog because it is only January 23, 2009 and already almost everything about my life has changed from how it was on January 1, 2009. It is my intention to describe the changes and their effects here in the hopes that others who are going through the same thing will find solace and perhaps even some help.

On January 6th my husband, Saron (all names have been changed to protect anonymity) was told that his company was closing. His last day of work will be February 6th. While I also have a full time job and he even has a part time job as well, his day job was our main bill paying job.

I did the math and figured that if we cut some expenses here and there (and if Saron could get full time hours at his night job) then we could ride this out until he got another job.

Then the bottom fell out; I was called into work at 8 in the morning on Wednesday, January 21. My job is being eliminated! My last date of employment is February 21. Wednesday was my day off, so after being told this news, I came home and sat down at my computer and spent roughly three hours staring at it. I read nothing. I saw nothing. I just sat.

After that I got up, went upstairs, and climbed into bed and called my Daddy. I could think of nothing else to do. That I was devastated is an understatement. That I was in shock is understandable. That I didn't have a clue what to do now scared me to death!

I went back to work yesterday. It wasn't the hardest thing I've ever done, but it's up there in the top five. I didn't want to get out of bed. I didn't want to face my coworkers. I didn't want to acknowledge what was happening to my life.

But I did. I got out of bed. I faced my coworkers. And slowly, I am acknowledging what is happening to my life.

One of the first things I did when I arrived at work was find the person who has the same position as I (but in another department). She was not being laid off. It was important to me that she knew that I harbored no ill will. She is more qualified than I and if I had had to make the choice, I would have chosen to keep her.

I then went on to try and let everyone else know. Our company is like most others and if you don't act fast, rumors start. And they are seldom accurate! Everyone was extremely supportive. There were no dramatics. No one ran screaming in fear or anger. Everyone was calm. I am eternally grateful for this. The day was hard enough, had anyone gotten upset, I would have started bawling. As it is, several times I had to excuse myself to get my tears in check.

As I wrote that last line, I began to cry again. I didn't sleep last night. Instead, I sat downstairs on my couch snuggling my dachshund (Lacey) and trying to read At Home In Mitford. I didn't get too far. Mostly, I sat there crying. I knew I should be glad that the tears were finally falling, unlike the first day. I wasn't. I didn't want to be sitting there crying. I wanted to be figuring out what I could do to fix this situation!

I haven't thought of anything yet. I'll let you know if I do.