Everyone has a bad day now and then, right?

I had one yesterday. I woke up at three in the morning after going to sleep some time after Lost ended at ten. Wide awake, but exausted. By the time Saron woke up I was in Super -witch mode. He didn't deserve any of my additude, but, MAN! did he get it. It took him until near nine last nite to finally have enough. He snapped at me, I snapped back and then realized what a jerk I was being. I also realized that (just as if I was a child) the best place for a grouchy person to be was in bed. I was asleep by ten and didn't wake until seven this morning. Refreshed and ready to go.

Oh, and, yes, I told Saron I was sorry for being a jerk. He still loves me! (Big Smile)

So, now, the question is - Why couldn't I sleep?

The answer is - the same reason I was grouchy:

I'm feeling tired of the situation we are in. The lack of control, the uncertainty, the feeling that nothing I am doing is making it any better.

We got the jokes - erm, that is the unemployment checks yesterday. Saron's severance check is late. It still didn't come today, either.

Our vacuum broke yesterday, too. Ever notice how when you can least afford it, things break? Thankfully, as I believe I've written before, Saron and I are spoilt children; I called my father and he offered to buy us a new vacuum. I went this morning and picked it out. It's a nice Bissell made particularly for picking up pet hair. With two constantly shedding dogs, I'm into that idea!

We also went up to our church yesterday to pay our tithe because we constantly forget to take a check on Sunday. (And, yes, I do mean 'tithe,' as in ten percent of our earnings) The secretary wouldn't take the check! She knows the situation we are in, just as everyone at church does, and told us to keep the money and start paying a tithe again when we were working again. Apparently this was not her idea, she just got to be the messenger. I understood, and was grateful. Saron, however was not so; He feels our tithe is our obligation. While I do agree with him, I don't think God will mind if we pay our bills and such. As long as we don't fritter away the money, then, while it strikes my pride to not be living up to my promised tithe, I can deal - pride is overrated, anyway.

Ofcourse, as we can, we will still give to the church...just in cash, so they can't not cash the check! Aren't we sneaky?

I discovered something interesting last nite - well, interesting to me, anyway. As I was getting ready for bed, I started to set my alarm, then realized that I didn't have any reason to set it - I had no obiligations to fill, no reason to get up if I didn't want to... I don't mind telling you, that scared me more than just about anything!

I'm big on making lists. I realized that I needed to get back in the habit of making them for each day as I did when I was working and trying to fit everything into my busy day. It worked for today.

I knew that I would need to pick out a new vacuum, so that was first on my list. Then I remembered that it had been four months since I last got my hair cut. That went on my list: The hair salon and the store I went to to look at vacuums are in the same shopping center - a gas saving trip! We only have a few more weeks of insurance, and Saron needs new glasses, so making an appointment for him went on the list... Okay, I won't bore you with any more of the list, I'm sure you get the idea. It worked, is my point. I got up this morning knowing that I had a purpose for today. I got everything done, and now, at ten at nite I have a feeling of accomplishment. It's been awhile since I felt that. I like it!

Tomorrow, Saron and I get to finalize the plans for the new carpet we are getting. Then we really have to step up our game and get this house emptied! Wish us luck!

Oh, and to my first follower - Hello! Thanks for joining me! Please feel free to tell me what you think!

Busy, Busy, Busy - Warning: This Entry Jumps All Over the Place!

Yesterday, a man came and took measurements of our house for the new carpeting we are getting. It needed to be replaced when we bought the place, and the babies have ruined it further. Lacey was not house trained when we got her...She's only barely so now...

We sellected a Berber that costs .69c a square foot. It's not very attractive, (We had originally planned to get wood floors) but it is cheap and servicable. It's not really unattractive, I just don't happen to like carpet. Hopefully it will help when we are ready to sell the place.

Saron had to go to the doctor yesterday and get xrays of his foot; he may have broken it when he accedentally slammed into a box full of books last week. I was sure then that he had broken a toe, but now it seems he may have broken some bones up higher in his foot. It is swollen and bruised and he can't really bend his toes.

At least we are still insured through next month!

We are running out of places for Saron to apply. Places in his field, I mean. There are lots of entry positions out there, but they don't want to hire some one with 12+ years experience.

I've been told that I'm 'too qualified' as well. I have 13+ years of supervisory experience. Everyone seems to want newbies. They can pay them less. I guess that's more important than having people you can trust to actually get the job(s) done.

We both posted things we love for sale on ebay yesterday. It was hard - I love my books, I don't want to give them up. But as long as Saron keeps selling his prized Transformers, then I have to let things go as well. It will be more money for the bills, at least.

There have been some good things that have happened:

We discovered just how wonderful our friends are - at Sunday School last Sunday, our classmates presented us with a $200.00 gift credit card. I almost cried. They are such wonderful, loving people. We are blessed to know them!

I haven't yet taken all of my art supplies to storage, and so was able to make them each a thank you card. It was nice to take some time and be creative. I also am making bookmarks for them.

The other nice thing that happened is Saron's parents gave us a Honda Accord! Free!!! They signed it over to Saron Monday morning. I get to drive it. I used to have a Honda Civic and have missed it. This is even better! It has a moon roof!!! I feel so fancy in it!!!!

Yeah, yeah, I'm easily pleased, but can you imagin? A free car that is in great shape? That's what we got!! Saron and I are both blessed with the best parents anyone can hope to have!

I must now go search for the next places for us to apply. Hopefully, the unemployment checks come today. I have to pay some bills.

Oh, and if you think you can't get your power bill down when it's cold, I can tell you that you can - ours for last month was $33.00!! Wear lots of sweaters and thick socks!!!!

Soran's birthday

Sunday, the 15th was Saron's 34th birthday. Wondering what I got him?.... Yeah, isn't that a nice gift to get your husband?

Of course, you could say I gave him what he's always wanted; he always says he doesn't want anything - This year, that's exactly what he got!!!

And Now For Something Completely Different

What can be completely different, you ask? How about this...

At about 11:30 last nite, Saron and I took a little break from packing and transporting stuff to the storage unit. He was reading me funny things from the Internet and I was sitting on the couch holding two sleeping dogs in my lap.

It was late and I was tired - it had been a long day, after all. So, when I saw what I saw you can (I hope) understand my delayed reaction.

This is what I saw...

A big, ugly, short eared,brown mouse!!!!!!!!!!!

It scampered out from between two boxes right into the middle of the living room! The vile thing stopped, looked up at me (it was, maybe, two feet away from the couch), jumped in surprise, and scampered back between the boxes.

I know I opened my mouth when I first saw the disgusting creature, but I was so surprised to see it, that it took a moment to register that I REALLY HAD seen it. A mouse! In my house!!

Then I panicked!

I grabbed both babies and screeched at Saron "MOUSE!! A MOUSE!!!! GET IT!!!! AHHH!!!! EEEEE!!!!!"

All I could think is that I had to keep the babies from discovering it. I remember the precious puppy I grew up with bringing us mice when I was a little kid - It was gross! I did not want a repeat!

Saron did not see the vile invader, but he's smart - he doesn't argue with me.

We leashed the babies and all of us went to the store. It was exactly midnite when I entered Meijers. I was still shaking. The employees came up to me looking concerned. Yeah, I was in my pajamas, but at least I had taken the time to put on jeans and a sweatshirt as well.

When I asked where the mouse traps were, they all smiled in relief and nodded. Several came along to help me and listen as I told my tale of the horrible attack my family had just survived. For some reason, they were particularly amused when they discovered that my babies are dogs...and a Beagle and Dachshund to boot!

And that brings us to a whole different subject - What kind of dog is unaware of a mouse when it's in the same room, just feet away??????!!!!!!

And a Month Later What Has Changed?

Yeah, it's been a month since I last posted. I don't know if anyone is reading this or not; no one has signed up to follow it, so I'm guessing not. That's why I haven't written anything else.

But the truth is, I need an outlet, so this is it.

So, to answer the title question... Nothing. Saron and I are still unemployed. We have received his first unemployment check... Can you spell 'joke'? Because that's what it was. We will not be able to continue paying our basic bills on what we're getting from unemployment.

By 'basic bills,' I mean mortgage, power, insurance, food, meds... You know, that stuff we need to stay alive. I'm not talking about cell phones and cable TV.

Can you tell I'm a little frustrated?

I can only thank God that we bought a house way below what we (then) could afford, so maybe we can sell it quickly, and get out of this part of our mess. We are sprucing up the place right now: New paint on the living room walls (it's a really pretty toffee color), new floors (as the babies have ruined the carpeting!)

That's the fun part of all this. I'm enjoying the creative aspect. I've been wanting to do these things since we bought the place, but I was lazy. Now I have no choice.

Saron did have an interview earlier this week, but it was for a job he is completly unsuited for. We don't know why they called him...

I had an interview for a job at a residential facility for troubled teenagers. I have honestly heard very little that was good about the place. I don't think I will take the job if I'm offered. There just seems to be a lot of violence that gets tolerated. Not my cup of tea at all!

I need to get going; it's a beautiful day today and we have a lot of things to take to our storage unit. As they say on HGTV - declutter, declutter, declutter!!!!

When Is It Enough?

Today I was awakened by a text from a friend/coworker. She wished me well and informed me that she was no longer with our company. I know nothing else about the situation. She was our assistant manager. She is so dear to me as a friend and a boss. It was a joy to work with her. She is intellegent, hard working, creative, funny...what more can you ask for?

I'm at the point where I'm not sure I can handle many more changes. My husband has two more days at his job. If I am scheduled to work Sunday, then I have four more days. It is getting harder and harder to go in. I just want to stay in bed with my puppies. They know things are not okay; they have been more and more needy the past couple of weeks.

I have been more and more needy as well. My husband is trying to help me through this (as if he isn't going through it as well). He reads to me to calm me before I go to sleep. He texts me throught out the day with sweet notes of love. He is so brave and I am such a coward.

Next week we are going up to my sister's to see if our options might be better up there. There is a university we have been looking at for some time near her house. We had once thought that we could buy her house and transfer up there, but that idea has gone out the window with our jobs.

I'm just feeling so frustrated! I'm used to doing things that get me into trouble. I screw up all the time! But this has nothing to do with me personally - it's just how things are now. I feel so helpless and I hate this feeling!! I'm an action girl, yet I have no idea what action to take!

We have to sell the house. That much I know. It needs a lot of work, but there's no money now for new floors and bathrooms.

We are selling tons of stuff on ebay. That's a positive step, right? We are selling Saron's Transformers collection. I hate that he is selling them. They are important to him. Sure, someone paid over $150.00 for three dinobots tonight, but I've spent the last nine years watching Saron excitedly showing me each new toy that he bought. The smiles on his face as he transforms them from a car to a robot and back again! He is selling all that to keep us in a comfortable home.

He already sold most of his Star Wars collection. I've sold most of my Duran Duran collection several years ago. What I have left, no one seems to want. The same with my Princess Diana collection. I've tried to sell my rubber stamps, but the most I got was .99 cents each, and they didn't all sell... Maybe I should go out to Nevada and work at a brothel...I heard a girl can make good money there! (That's a joke - I believe in my marrage vows...but still...hmmm...)

This is my first foray into blogging. I have decided to create this blog because it is only January 23, 2009 and already almost everything about my life has changed from how it was on January 1, 2009. It is my intention to describe the changes and their effects here in the hopes that others who are going through the same thing will find solace and perhaps even some help.

On January 6th my husband, Saron (all names have been changed to protect anonymity) was told that his company was closing. His last day of work will be February 6th. While I also have a full time job and he even has a part time job as well, his day job was our main bill paying job.

I did the math and figured that if we cut some expenses here and there (and if Saron could get full time hours at his night job) then we could ride this out until he got another job.

Then the bottom fell out; I was called into work at 8 in the morning on Wednesday, January 21. My job is being eliminated! My last date of employment is February 21. Wednesday was my day off, so after being told this news, I came home and sat down at my computer and spent roughly three hours staring at it. I read nothing. I saw nothing. I just sat.

After that I got up, went upstairs, and climbed into bed and called my Daddy. I could think of nothing else to do. That I was devastated is an understatement. That I was in shock is understandable. That I didn't have a clue what to do now scared me to death!

I went back to work yesterday. It wasn't the hardest thing I've ever done, but it's up there in the top five. I didn't want to get out of bed. I didn't want to face my coworkers. I didn't want to acknowledge what was happening to my life.

But I did. I got out of bed. I faced my coworkers. And slowly, I am acknowledging what is happening to my life.

One of the first things I did when I arrived at work was find the person who has the same position as I (but in another department). She was not being laid off. It was important to me that she knew that I harbored no ill will. She is more qualified than I and if I had had to make the choice, I would have chosen to keep her.

I then went on to try and let everyone else know. Our company is like most others and if you don't act fast, rumors start. And they are seldom accurate! Everyone was extremely supportive. There were no dramatics. No one ran screaming in fear or anger. Everyone was calm. I am eternally grateful for this. The day was hard enough, had anyone gotten upset, I would have started bawling. As it is, several times I had to excuse myself to get my tears in check.

As I wrote that last line, I began to cry again. I didn't sleep last night. Instead, I sat downstairs on my couch snuggling my dachshund (Lacey) and trying to read At Home In Mitford. I didn't get too far. Mostly, I sat there crying. I knew I should be glad that the tears were finally falling, unlike the first day. I wasn't. I didn't want to be sitting there crying. I wanted to be figuring out what I could do to fix this situation!

I haven't thought of anything yet. I'll let you know if I do.